


meanwhile, the world goes on

by theseourbodies



Category: due South
Genre: Episode Tag, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-09-19 10:35:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9436433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theseourbodies/pseuds/theseourbodies
Summary: Set immediately after the events of Episode 2.16 "The Duel"Ray gives Fraser a free pass to ask what he wants about the things that he's heard over the course of the investigation.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Different from my usual style, unbetaed as usual.

“You can ask, you know,” Ray mutters into his tumbler, “I know what you must’ve heard.” 

Fraser taps the side of his own glass gently, watches the milk in it ripple again and again. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Ray.” He looks up in time to catch Ray giving him an easy look, mellow and calm. It’s good to see the tension of the past week drained from his body, to see the loose grip of his hands. Fraser’s missed the easy calm that Ray can pull out of seemingly nowhere; recently he’s noticed that it’s difficult to call a case finished if the day doesn’t end with Ray curving gently into his space as Ray’s body lets the tension go. 

Ray chuckles to himself and takes a long drink. “Yeah, Benny, I know you don’t. But we can talk about it, if you’d like. Consider it a—a free pass.”

There are things that the Mountie wants to ask that Fraser can’t bring himself to, too aware of the value he himself has placed on Ray’s friendship to cross certain lines—“free pass” or no. It was rare when he got to see so many people that had known Ray before he was a single detective working alone on the cases no one else wanted, and Fraser had found himself hungry for more input with every new fact or anecdote he had gathered. The hunger hasn’t eased. 

He takes a drink.

“What do you want me to ask, Ray?” Fraser asks, at length. 

Ray snorts.

“Well, I can’t read your mind Ray, and I can’t imagine what it is you’re talking about.”

“Ok, Fraser, that’s how you want to play it and I’ll keep it close to the vest, I guess.” Despite the relaxed slope of his shoulders, the playful roll in his voice, Ray’s smile was tight and bittersweet. Fraser hesitates. He contemplates Ray’s hands, and thinks about all the things that he had, indeed, heard.

“Did you know?”

Ray doesn’t ask what he means. He shakes his head, once.

“Did you suspect?” 

“Not soon enough, Benny. Not soon enough to stop my partner, my wife, hell, the whole station from drawing their own conclusions. I should have known, maybe, should have figured. Nobody sees anything good in a guy calls himself Italian from the neighborhood I was born and raised in.” Ray meets his eyes, fearlessly. Free pass—there’s nothing he’s saying that Fraser doesn’t already know, that he hadn’t read between the lines of every one of his former partner’s hesitations, his former lieutenant’s stern silences. Fraser wonders if that’s what started this in the first place, the fact that Fraser had already taken what he needed to draw himself a picture of the situation at hand. 

The hunger _hasn’t_ eased; Fraser finds that he’s not sorry, for digging, for hunting, for listening.

“I would understand if you were…angry with me. For prying.”

That startles a laugh from deep in Ray’s chest, clearly starling the both of them. Ray knocks back the rest of his drink, grinning around the edge of his glass; when he looks at Fraser again, fondness radiates from him like a physical warmth. 

“Come on, Benny, you and I both know you wouldn’t get it. You stuck your nose in my business, sure, but lucky for you it was actually—actually a relief to know that you’d heard all that and you still believed me. It was—I’m not mad, is what I’m saying, so don’t worry.” 

Fraser has to look down, look away. No, logically, it would have made little sense for Ray to be angry, but Ray was built on different foundations than Fraser and Fraser had come to expect the unexpected when it came to Ray’s reactions. But the straight assurance crashes over him, catches him completely unawares and stranded in the shallows with the tide coming in. 

“Hell, free pass—“ Ray mutters to himself, leaning forward on his elbows as he continues, “I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t believed me, ok? I know, last time I,” Ray winces, and the ghost of Irene looms in his momentary silence, “—but I was wrong. It’s good to know that you’ve got my back, that you’ll get to the truth no matter what.” 

Fraser stares, mouth slack, caught completely off guard. He feels—strange, exposed. Lit up from inside, heat pouring out from some dormant, previously untapped wellspring. 

Ray scrubs at the back of his head, looking away. The tips of his ears are red in the fading light coming through Fraser’s kitchen window, the sun going down at the end of the day, at the end of the case. Despite their mutual embarrassment, Ray still curves into Fraser’s space; there are things that Fraser wants to say into the silence that the Mountie won’t let him say. 

He clears his throat; his voice is still rough when he settles on, “Thank you, Ray.”

Ray's own voice is husky. “Any time, Benny. Any time.”

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me at wecouldbeheroes-loverswecouldbe.tumblr.com
> 
> Title taken from Mary Oliver's "Wild Geese" :  
>  _You only have to let the soft animal of your body_  
>  _love what it loves._  
>  _Tell me about your despair, yours; and I will tell you mine._  
>  _Meanwhile the world goes on._


End file.
